Ask Audrey: A lesbian child may be the latest must-have accessory in the Rochestown path

Sorting out Cork individuals for a long time like

C’mere, what’s the tale with thinking Cork is preferable to intercourse. I’ve really reconnected aided by the town in past times couple of weeks, walking on during the lockdown and breaking into rips each and every time Shandon sneaks into view, I’d a be poor for this. It’s the business enterprise kid, strolling across the streets that are empty alone together with your ideas and a will of Dutch silver, you can realise what’s essential in everything. Therefore like can we all agree with the one thing whenever all this work is over – Cork town may be the fruits whenever you don’t need certainly to share the footpath with gowls from Carrigaline. Therefore, can you ever ask one of the snobby attorney buddies if you have solution to ban culchies from Cork, forever like? – Dowcha Donie, Blackpool.

I’m with you on your

Most people are saying the air is fresher around Cork because there are incredibly cars that are few the trail. We state stripchat it is while there is no one up from Bandon to do their ‘bit of shopping. ’ #IsThatSilageOrManure?

Aon sceal? This weekend and get off with our birds i’m a trainee Guard from Dingle, they gave me early release from Templemore and sent me down to Cork to make sure ye lads don’t drive off to Kerry. These are typically four of us when you look at usually the one home here in Frankfield, Christ we inform you we’d be bating from the Cork ladies having a dirty stick, they appear to think we’re noise as a result of our sly accents. Anyhow, We have a challenge aided by the thing that is cocoon. You notice, Kerry women can be grand until they hit 60, after which they’d almost have significantly more undesired facial hair than Paul Galvin. Yeer Cork women do have more design about them and I also can’t determine if a lady is finished 70 or perhaps not? Any hints? – Paid Og Ban Beag, Frankfield agus Dingle.

The Posh Cousin has simply started a podcast targeted at older women that want good sex-life, it is called In Your fantasies. I said, what’s the way that is best to share with in case a Cork girl has ended 70. She stated, ask if she continues to have those types of Roches that is red Stores at house. #TheyAllDo

Now pay attention Paddy. Things are rather tight for English aristos that we can’t charge oiks 50 quid to circumambulate our stately domiciles and say ‘hey up, Clive, i’dn’t want to be usually the one picking right up the heating bill here, chuck. Like myself right now, now’ Quite. Anyhow, fortune favours the rich and what not, didn’t your guy Varadkar contact me during the with what I believe is known as a job week. Their research has shown which you filthy Micks have actually stopped listening to stay-at-home warnings from people who have Dublin 4 accents – evidently they’re perhaps not English sufficient. Huzzah! That’s where we can be found in. Therefore, listen up, the message from Leo along with his federal federal government is as follows – there is supposed to be no raising the lockdown as you are very paddys that are bad. Might you pass that around Cork in my situation? – Lord Edmund D’Servant-Shagger, Wiltshire, to mention one of the numerous counties we possess.

My relative is A gael that is fine councillor we call him Planning Permission. He was rung by me here to fairly share the lockdown. He stated, how’s your mother? We stated, I’m dying to offer me a hug. He stated, come on Audrey you don’t want her catching Covid-19. We stated, Jesus no, perhaps maybe not along with her house well well worth 50% of what’s was at January. He said, precisely.

No shortage of friction on our WhatsApp group, Stunning Ballinlough Over-Achievers Who Are Glad Now They Didn’t Have children.

We snuck away for the stroll around Atlantic Pond with Leoni final night, therefore we’re able to ask one another passive-aggressive questions regarding lack of revenue because of Covid-19. (‘Will you need to go after the cheaper nose-job now’ – the typical bitchiness you have got together with your closest friend. ) Anyhow this Guard stopped us and asked whenever we had been both through the exact same home – Leoni said we’re really a homosexual couple, in the same way Naomi Clarke-O’Leary ended up being moving, and didn’t the nosey bitch tell everybody. Now, I’ve absolutely absolutely nothing against lesbians – but we don’t want people thinking i will be one either, did you know that type or sort of a method. So just how am I able to show I’m directly, without insulting the gays? –Carina, Ballinlough.

My cousin Orla is homosexual, her mom had been devastated until somebody informed her a lesbian child could be the must-have accessory that is latest in the Rochestown path. (It replaced a hairless pet. ) I stated, Orla, just just just what could you state for this Carina? She stated, absolutely absolutely nothing. We stated why? She stated, I’d choose to shag a guy than keep in touch with some body from Ballinlough. #TheSnobbyLesbian

Fast one woman. I became likely to keep my boyfriend however now a lockdown is had by him beard and I’m as horny this one who sang I’m horny, horny, horny, horny. He’s like Chris Hemsworth with a Kanturk accent, I’d be rubbing I don’t even like him off him all day and! Can there be any remedy for Beard Lust? – Martina, Cloyne.

I became telling girls on Zoom yesterday evening that I happened to be angry for bearded dudes in university. One of these stated, did you receive a rash? We stated, about 4 or 5 of those, but none back at my face thank God. #GreatTimes #TheresAlwaysPenicillin